Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
