quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Randomize
