Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Randomize
