I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
