No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
