he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Randomize
