Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Randomize
