if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
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