what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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