After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
