I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
My dad just said "fuck circus"
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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