he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Randomize
