i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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