used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
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