I have demons in me.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Randomize
