i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
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