Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
