Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
i think my mom watched the whole time
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Randomize
