so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
