New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
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