Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
