So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
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