Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
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