I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Randomize
