Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
