i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I just sucked dick on a ferry
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
