When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
