i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
They took my balls.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
