PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
i love accidental penises.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Randomize
