hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
Dignity is for republicans.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
