So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Randomize
