it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Randomize
