Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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