I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
Randomize
