she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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