i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
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