I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Randomize
