Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
