I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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