and she was petting her beer can
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Terrible idea I love it
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
