I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Randomize
