best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
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