I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
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