We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
I need water and some morals
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
