I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
