Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
sarcasm needs its own font
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
dude. I can hear the air.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize
