I cannot find my penis.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
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