so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Randomize
