Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
