so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Randomize
