They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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