I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Randomize
