I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize