This is not my ceiling
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
it was like his penis was on wheels.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
