i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
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