Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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