You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
Randomize
