What a fucking waste of an outfit
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
Randomize
