the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Randomize
