last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
Who did Billy Mays play for?
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
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