Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize
