playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
you win again, gameday.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
