how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
