I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
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