Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Randomize