they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
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