The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
